Toru Naitokurora Night Crawler

As you know I published my book....here is part of the book if you interested in reading it...

The Site where you want to order...

 http://www.lulu.com/shop/rawan-alhussaini/catrebelchic/hardcover/product-21408030.html

Will be in Amazon as well, soon...

Well here it goes...

      Have you constantly read novels that indicates japanese american culture. well here it is, the trait of Toru Naitokurora, As in Night Crawler. Toru is twenty five years old who is living to her dreams of becoming the darkness Night Crawler.
 
     Besides she is a cultivated passionate youth who is mostly serenity but she doesn't allow you to destroy her...its Genre are thriller, romance, slice of life, mystery, and chaos full of illusions and delusions...

I was wide awake; I was confused yet feeling so strange. I was in this house. I don't even know what I was; and what I am doing here. 

I know that I am a person; a person that lives on earth. what is earth? I didn't know? but something in me kept telling me who am I and why I am here; and telling all about life. where once i had something; but ended with nothing at all; its like someone took me from the place I was to this. Soon...

I have changed to some kind of monster I guess; or the name that I have right now Toru the night crawler. That tries her best to be accepted in this world; and to be protected.

This month I have been with a friend; amazing friend. Mai, she told me that she knew me since I was a child and I moved when I was 18 and left with my parent to a different town; she knew my parents and she knew what happen to them. But later she’s like you were here with someone; I was really? 

I never knew she was telling me the truth. She said I was with a handsome guy and that we decided to live here, and that we moved to this town. Then; my father called us over for my mother’s birthday. It was a wonderful birthday. An interesting one. They were happy that I was finally with someone. 

With a great guy. So they want to spend some time with him; we were married for one year; but as soon as we did we left town and I never got the change to go back and hang out a bit more with my parents; so we decided to stay for a week or so.

The week that we stayed in was almost going to be over. But later that day; my parents decided to a make a huge party surprise for us. It was amazing; but when the night ended; we decided to leave to go back to our place near to my parent’s house. And then; later that night we both heard an explosion. 

We both panicked; we looked at the window; I could see my house is burned down. I went out quickly; but he called me; trying to tell me to be careful and not to go there. I couldn’t wait; my parents are in there; I should do something. I ran there not knowing what is happening around me. 

All I hear is screams; my mother’s screams. As soon as I went their; an explosion just blew off the old tree house I was standing a bit far from it; blew me as well. I fell unconsciously. Suddenly I could feel; that someone picked me from where I was; I could imagine it; and I could feel it. Taking me somewhere; I could hear noises; screams. I was laid in bed. Didn’t open my eyes. As I felt the years have gone so fast. But something went inside me; like a sharp needle; injection perhaps. 

I didn’t know what it was; I can feel it through. They thought I was dead. I was wide awake. Just as I knew it; knew what they have done to me; my memories starts to fade away. I felt I was something else; something more terrifying. Like a monster. Growling monster. 

But why? I didn’t know; I don’t even understand. I need answers to my questions. I never got. Until the day; I was really wide awake. I was back to this town. The town where I was first married to this handsome guy. Someone was right beside me.

My dear friend, Mai. She woke me up. I was lying on this huge bed; I felt I was back home. But the memories I had were gone. Mai asked me about this guy I was with. I didn’t understand what she was talking about. I look at my hand; there is no ring. 

Nothing at all, so she knew the explosion made me forget about things. So she stood right next to me when I needed her. How come I still remember her? Remember my past? But never remembered my dear husband. Why him? I never understood why. So the days as past. As I was stronger than ever.

May 20th, 2011

Things has changed. Things was normal. I worked. But something was always in my mind. Revenge. I thought the only guy that I know the guy that Mai has told me. He is the only guy who involve with the explosion. I thought it was him. But wasn’t. so I start planning it wisely; when all of this was planned by them. They plan to catch the guy who murdered my parents, and he was innocent. 

He thought I went insane. He talked to Mai behind my back, I thought he was tricking her or something; but he was just asking her if I am okay. Mai told him that I don’t remember him at all, so he made up his mind not to get involve in my life until the time is right.

Later on, I met those people that I thought were the most important ones in my life. Then, when I got a bit closer with my best friend; things turned to worse. They killed her by sending out two other men I don’t know; saying the boss wants her dead by the name of my loved one, Yuri. 

Yuri is my husband the I once thought he is a murderer. When they were the ones who planned all this. The explosion was there idea. Pretty much a mistake they did; so they planned it very cleverly.

February 11th, 2013

I was their closest friend ever. I know; I have talked about Andy for a while; how he is involve in this. I knew he was doing something; hiding something when I found out his name wasn’t Andy, but Jin. His name was Jin, and Jessica is his wife. He killed his own wife; for the sake of revenge. 

And walked away with it; with no harm; pretending that he have a twin brother exactly like him. Pretending he wasn’t a serial killer. Interesting. A serial killer that doesn’t exist. Well he exist in this period of time by the name of Andy. Then this detective guy; poor guy. I thought of as a man. A caring, loving man. Who wouldn’t do such thing. Ruining a person life; for something so useless. 

Well it’s not to him; but really. There are millions of doctors out there who will do anything to save people’s lives. But he never cared; it’s free. Yeah, selfish. You don’t have money? Work! You’ll be fine. But don’t ruin people’s lives. What a huge favor he made.

All of this ended in my way. Everything has planned my way. August 30th, 2013. Everything will be all right. later that day. I called Yuri over. He wants to check if I am alright; because things is about to end. So he stay near me for all of the time; and I pretended I never talked to him.

 I completely regained my memories back and what they kept on giving me is not working with me anymore. Pills to erase my memories every time I wake up. So, I was happy he came to me that day, until he left. Telling me to be careful; and left out. Not knowing what happen. Until the end of it. when he walked out of the apartment; I could say something; or something that I see far ahead. 

A car heading straight to my apartment; and crashed my neighbor’s car. I checked to see what wrong with that guy; but I could see two men. As soon as I walked down; those two men; hidden faces grabbed me in and drove me away. Tight me as well. I don’t know to where. But somewhere to the woods I guess. I felt dizzy a bit; I don’t know what they were doing. But I could say they found out about us. I started to bleed. So as soon as the car stopped I punched the guy next to me in the face; then he punched me back. That hurts real bad. I started to get scared. 

So they drop me to the ground; and start to push me in the ground; like a rolling dog. And one of them screamed loudly and said, “You tricked us into this” I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. but I could see that they stopped hitting me; pulling their mask off. I couldn’t see clear anymore. But all I said was, who are you? What do you want from me? They started to laugh. I could hear Gai Gami laughing so hard from laughter. And I could see those evil eyes on Jin’s face. 

But suddenly, I could see someone from far away; shot Gai Gami; and fell on the ground. But then, Jin picked me up from the floor; and screamed loudly telling who ever the person was; that he is going to shoot me in those spare good hand of his…… 

not even seconds, not even minutes. I remembered I was something; why I am acting such an innocent girl. All of a sudden I kicked him on the ground; and fell as well as he shoot Yuri on his hand. I looked at Yuri and I went insane. 

I grabbed the gun that was on his hand; stepped on his finger as he start screaming for help. I ran all the way to Yuri; cause he seems in pain. I took off my sweater and wrapped it on his arm. I thought it was the end of everything; however; Jin grabbed another shot gun that was right next to Gai Gami that I forgot to take. 

As soon as he pressed the trigger; I could hear Yuri’s voice yelling; move! He pushed me to the ground and he pushed himself to the other side. And I got up; immediately ran to Jin; grabbed his arm tightly. “What a strong woman that I made by my own”, he said; laughing in a evil way. 

I got mad of his nonsense; I could be just a hero; but I could be an immortal killer for once. I grabbed his gun again; and shot him run through his head. He fell on the ground dead. I stood still; couldn’t believe what I have done; killing someone. I hear Yuri shouting to me; telling me everything is going to be alright. I shouted back. “This won’t bring my parents back!” 

he looked at me surprisingly and said, but it brought us back. I could see his tears shedding from his eyes; I could say joy.

I pulled him up from the ground; making sure that I am not touching his arm that was injured. I think it’s over now. It remind me of a game that is played on those PC’s. An interesting one. It like I never meant for this to happen. I don`t even have the slightest idea what happened. 

All I know, is that I was free-falling for the sky...and that’s it, it’s like a game is played. I don`t know my name when I got here, where I`m from, or how I even got here. So similar to those games, the character of the game felt something strange...something she know about. 

Down below, the demons are planning something. They`ve got everything set. The army, the weapons, and the plans. But she can`t let them get past the gates. That`s why she, and maybe some companions, have got a plan but wasn’t a plan like ours; a bit confusing. Or else... 

The angels are doomed. And then, the world will end. But here we are; not exactly like those games we play. Were back on our feet safely and not injured. Soon, no one knew what happen to them, neither us.

As I continue writing this; a diary full of memories; painful one. "Tonight I'll stand in the light so Yuri can count how many tears fall from my eyes... This time I'll be alright, my heart can't get any worse. I will sit on the a park bench, sitting with him. This will stay forever and I am sure. So right now. 

When the fireworks started he told me to close my eyes, that something magical was about to happen and to put out my hand. From the place of the cold air there turned to be a smooth silver box. In it was the most beautiful ring in the world with so much sparkles and elegance tears were forming in my eyes that he would give me such beautiful thing. He held me tighter to him and whispered in my ear “My love, my world, will you forever be mine to love and only mine to love. 

Tears were slowly coming down my face like falling crystals and I turned to see his beautiful loving eyes. He had already proven time after time that he would be there for me and would love me no matter what the world have given to us. I told him that we are already married; but unfortunately he wants me to have a new brand ring on my finger. A cute one too.

Till today; everything went were it suppose to be. I’ve a great family. The one that will always be in my side no matter what happens. I think you know the end of this. The end of us; that brought us back again....

Author Note:

I wrote this novel; for a purpose. Of course all authors have their own purpose of what they write; and their novel is about. Mine seems different. Written differently. What I was looking for here, or what my purpose is. I could say for instance. Life can lead us to many places. It can be cruel, or it could be amazing. You never know am I right. But we should know, deep down our hearts; what matter what we see around; never forget who you are and why you’re here. What the purpose of all that. And I understand memories and life experience can transform a person so differently; that they can change their whole life to another one. Or changing to something so different; whether its good or bad. No one should know but yourself.

So what’s life means to you? You should carefully ask yourself…

"You never know what you have, until it's gone." That is the saying I have heard my entire life. That night that tore my world into a million pieces. The night that, no matter how hard I tried, I would never forget. The night that I personally was able to understand the meaning of that very saying. Another's point of view, real life, same hardships and same experiences. It's quite amazing how much it can all change from another's sight... There are always hardships that take place sometime in your life. That happened to us, to you and or anybody else. This all has happened/will happen. This is an accompaniment of 'The Hard Way.’ I learned it, the hard way. I have worked so hard getting things right. But sometimes we fall; I know. It happens but from inside, the thoughts we have. The wills we have in those spare hands. We should ask our self, can we possibly forget what has passed? What comes right through your mind; speak it. Don’t keep it in. Let it out. When I do think of this question, I answer with a yes. Yes I can, and I start to walk over to the blurry mirror; cause I know it’s from the foggy weather. But I still can look through it, so I start to have this unusual feelings, feelings the strain and shedding tears over disappointments that has passed. Will it go? I asked myself again, I said, I can start over. Going forward to a new life, so bright. And I start over like none of this had happened…but I still stand still looking at the mirror. The mirror reflected me somehow; reversing everything in life. A total life change, it’s like a dream come true; I expect anything to happen. And as I said; saying it again whether its good or bad; it doesn’t matter. What goes around you; is what comes the best out of it. The dignity inside of us. The self respect we hold in. the hopes and what reflects it the most is what we give inside, love. Love life. Love yourself and your loved ones. Also love what you do; stay positive because I know all of us can do this and do the best we can to have it. To have life as our own.

Yes, I've Changed.

Yes I did...tell you something.
I've worked so hard being so different.

To Cold To even Care...
To Busy To Reply...
To Dark To even Stare..
To Smile To kill...
I've known a lot since I became this...
Really? Just face it...Look to those who don't even support you. why care, why reply when they don't reply when you text them. Dark? Yup accept it anyway, I am not interested in you. I smile that's how I play it. Revenge. Revenge in those smiles that what interests me. Don't judge, cuz when your in it, you'll know what best describe you when you deal with you unusual circumstances or I could say experiences that disappointed you the most. I stop caring, I stop staring, I stopped replying. And I don't even give a damn thing about it. I love it that way. I will be this...Accept it or not. You don't really matter to me no more. Peace to all... CAT^^

Midnight cast and the Ultimate destiny

Windy midnight cast

Along the path way

I walk into

a large crowd amassed for the parade

a parade of one style; I see 

 the mass destruction springs to mind

 goes along the twine string in the square of the city

it is for the mankind's only hope

and of course mankind today.

Is it the fate of mankind?

grisly fate

or the eternal destiny?

I believe it is the manifest destiny. 

their ultimate destiny; I see

 

Fresh Start

There is a time where you see yourself each day with a new fresh start.
Getting what you always wish for.

Off you go being someone you aim to be. My name is Rawan AlHussaini.
A young writer; you could say… 

21 years old college student studying as a major in graphic design and soon will appear as a writer.
Things has changed for a while since I am more mature now.
 As a child I was someone who wouldn’t even try to cooperate with anyone or even try to participate in any event what so ever. I tend to be left alone for hours, as you know…
you get to be isolated from everyone when you try to stay away from the ones you love.
 Since then I grew up to be someone very weak.
I couldn’t even say hello to a random stranger who I actually known for long.
Since I entered college things has been unstable for quite long.
I believe that I am the master of my own fate.
 Something I have to understand throughout my life things are going to change and soon it will.
People grow mature and become more aware of things, as I do right now.
Not knowing who they hurting in the process but I got hurt many times.
 And what I mean is, I got really hurt by my loved ones; I thought of them as family.
 I know it’s difficult and its gave me a hard time to decide what was the reason of this, but found out it wasn’t that important and there isn’t a reason.
 I know I tend to be clingy sometimes, but I believe no one is perfect.
The problem is I care too much.
When you do, you get out of hand, you can’t control yourself anymore when you actually go through that direction. you get weaker and weaker.
I feel I need to have a break, and try to change my personality and my life right now…
But to me…do not victimize yourself in your circumstance and I believe it’s true.
I realize you are in control always. I ha've been through alot lately, moreover lost a friend...and my advice is
 you must use the potential inside you to realize you are still an extraordinary person
without your best friend. (I always keep saying this to myself)
talking to all your past friends didn’t worked out, we all must realize the
friendship might have been worth it in the past, but not anymore.
 We all have a part that we all have to do, but unfortunately that may not be enough.
It will take time to get over this, but we all have to keep encouraging ourselves to become better.
Every day we wake up in the morning…realize it’s a new day…
we need to enjoy every movement of it. Love and accept yourself and be prepared to be
friendly with everyone in our path. The same thing happened to me with my friends.
I am now independent and not part of a friend chain.
I own myself as a person and can be whoever I want. Walk freely and be lively.
I am sure It will make me more confident and prone to face any social situation.
Again...another advice is
The more we tell ourselves that we have a future regardless of our best friend loss or
any other situations, the more content we'll become.
  we should not  put pressure on ourselves or be too hard on our daily life.
we should set motivation and take baby steps and I'm sure all of us can do it.

Pointed It Out!

This one.

Yes, I like it.

Don't you see.

Its beautiful isn't it.

Reminds me of us.

-smiles-

This is like the first time we've met.

For years, we were pushed away.

But, were okay, right?

-holds hands-

Excuse me, I want to buy that, how much is it?

Madam, It's cost $250.

Alright, I'll get one of that.

-Pointed It Out!-

Put it there, its looks nicer up here.

Nah, its looks better up there.

Alright, as you like.

I told you, this is like the dream come true.

Us standing infront of it.

Feelings of Joy.

You need coffee?

Hey, were did you go!

I told you I'm going to have a cup of coffee.

Oh, Alright.

Anyway, you do your thing, and I'm going stand right infront of this.

-Pointed It Out!

Night and Day, waking up just standing infront of it.

No responses.

Not even comunicating.

Like living in a different world.

-stares-

Opens the door.

Packs her things.

Left her there.

Left her there standing.

Days has passed.

Looking for her.

Calling her.

-picks the phone-

Where did you go?

Where did I go? Mmm...

thats explains it well, you are no longer exist in my life dear.

Go find someone else.

WHAT! No!

Wait!

What's happening...

What's wrong with you.

What's wrong with me.

I left the apartment three days ago, and you even didn't notice me.

You stood standing like I don't exist anymore.

You waste my time.

I stood standing?

What do you mean?

Are you out of your mind?

Your standing facing it day and night and you think you say what I mean?

Srsly...you need help!

Can I see you?

No!

I need your help!

No, I don't wanna see you.

My apartment is on fire!

What!

Wait!

I'm coming now!

Too Late.

Her apartment fell apart.

Everything got destroyed.

Everything is a Mess.

Except this.

What are you saying?

It's torn out!

No its not!

Its fine, look at it.

Its beautiful.

Wake up!

Your in a shock I know!

Your bleeding!

I need to take you to the hospital right now.

Everywhere she goes she looks at painting that looks the same.

Painting of two person holding hand.

The first time they have met.

First time they have been together for long.

Painting of them.

What is wrong with you!

Wake up!

All you see is us!

Yes!

I see!

We are together!

You saved me!

You took care of me!

This brought us together!

Even though it torns out, were together!

-pointed It Out!-

Holding hands tightly.

Not even letting you go.

Don't worry.

I won't  go anywhere.

I'm here, protecting you.

But please forget about this painting.

This painting got us in a mess.

Alright.

We are together, even though the painting is torn out.

We won't rely on it.

Yes your right!

-Picks Her Up-

Cloud Nine

Touched me so carefully and cautiously.

Holding me like I'm about to escape.

 A wounded rythm.

We latched into a crew who were making music. 

Lots of noises.

Cat smiled.

lots of sounds.

Its been two weeks.

days as past so quick and never knew where we were.

Since then, things wern't right.

after two month of us breaking up; I actually smiled without

faking happiness.

But it wasn't that day that made me smiled.

It was a different person.

Cloud Nine, is what that person discovered.

I, Cat adores that person.

Nicknamed as Cloud Nine.

Cloud Nine was away for couple of weeks.

Cat never helped it, until found someone else.

And hopefully learn from mistakes.

Cat never thought Cloud Nine will be coming home soon.

Not just an amazing person, but artistic.

Played music.

A leader of  a band.

Alternative Rock.

A band similar to a favorite band I listen to.

Cloud Nine is who makes those noises.

It what made me heal.

Cloud Nine is almost there.

waiting for me at the airport.

I ran.

Hugged, never let go.

Sat somewhere.

Somewhere, no one can find us.

Somewhere Cat and Cloud Nine can have a bit of privacy.

Somewhere they can be alone.

And this is where Cat ends up listening to her first album Wounded rythm with 

her favorite band Cloud Nine.  

Sketch

Sketch you say.

I'm pretty sure I heard you right the first time.

I, Cat, the writer, not just any writer, but soon an author. 

The place, where I'm from, the sketches I made, is where I belong.

I hit play, everytime there is a cut, I hit pause, I draw the frame, and hit it until it cuts again.

I, Cat speaking from where I am now,  it is not enough to watch a film; and not

enough to look at someone's else drawings. 

The Sketch.

Yeah, I know you just said it a couple of seconds ago.

I sit there, facing you; If I’ve only met you a few times, I recall you in terms of a general impression and descriptive words. 

I have no picture of you in my head. It’s kind of crazy that I’ve gotten this far in this field without a mind’s eye.

I looked up facing you again; listen to what you have to say; Why Sketch?

I sketch to make my world into something more fantasy; more realistic.

Sketches that I made linked to something unusal.

perhaps you know what I mean.

Pictures are just simliar to words, but shown differently.

I, Cat, is what I am to describe.

Who is Cat, who is me and why sketch?

I, Cat is a artistic writer, who not just a writer, but a sketcher, sketches life time.

A life time, that had taught me something really important; shots and frames.

Shots is snapshot of my daily life; what I do, where I go, and who I communicate with.

All of those snapshots is what best describe a sketcher.

Frames, is what you put each snapshot into a frame, to able to present daily life.

Not all shots could be your life, but a simple story of what your trying to explain.

Cat, which is me, have alot of concerns.

Concerns my life time, is why I sketch.

Now dear, you really understood what I do.

My buddy, "Yeah I do, you explain it clearly."

Great then, I said.

Is this how it begins?

Yeah, this is how you should do.

Well, I got to go, I might pass your office tomorrow if you don't mind?

Yeah, sure, why not, I said.

And this is how I sketch every snapshot of the day; Cat and my buddy.